<![CDATA[<body><script type="text/javascript">
function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) {
if(window.addEventListener) {
window.addEventListener('load',
function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false);
} else {
window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; });
}
}
</script>
<div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div>
<script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script>
<script type="text/javascript">
gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() {
if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) {
gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({
url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/9661232?origin\x3dhttp://kxai.blogspot.com',
where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"),
id: "navbar-iframe"
});
}
});
</script>]]>
Thursday, June 02, 2005
010605
My grandpa died this evening....he had all of us by his bedside when he left...i only came to know about his critical condition in the noon when i was doing the testing with one of the SS, and WY came to knock at the door, revealing my cousins standing outside the door. I got such a shock...then they told me that grandpa cannot make it already and wants to see everyone for the last time be4 he leaves. Hence we rushed to the ward, only to see him suffering in pain. He's on the oxygen tube and morphine, but the pain's making him so unbearable that he tried several times, unsuccessfully (not sure if this is good or bad for him) to remove the oxygen mask from his face...
We know you're suffering grandpa, but we just can't let you go...even if we would let you go, we would only consent to saying goodbye to ya when you're in your least painful moments..Never in this state of yours...Never!!But finally we relented. We told the doc to remove all the resusc devices from him...continue to give him morphine and the oxygen mask, and place him in a quiet room to spent his last hours with us...It's really terrible. All of us waited in the room...constantly observing his heartbeat...no one's allowed to cry in the room cause they say this would hold him back from leaving...Finally after 3 hrs of struggle, grandpa left when his heartbeat turns to zero. I held onto my cousin tightly...though i'm not close to grandpa, but this is definitely not the outcome that i wanna see...
It's final.......Grandpa left us...
We're going to hold the wake for a week.....it's gonna be a long week...so i better get some rest be4 i started helping out at the wake...need to apply for leave tomorrow...wonder what my boss's gonna say about this.
Bye Grandpa...Aunt says that you can still hear us, even though you're already gone...dun worry grandpa, your descendents, including me, are good kids and will be good kids to carry on the family line...so please be happy in the other world...i'm really glad that i'm your grand-daughter...really!!!
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
310505
45 mins more to the end of my shitty day...i'm really hoping the day can pass as fast as it can...but dunnoe why, time seems to crawl when i'm down..(yes, as a pre-psychologist, i know it's psychological but i can't help but wonder if God's made the time slower to remind me of its badness)..
Got my results today..din managed to check it till noon..worse still, none of the servers in the lab can access the NUS webpage...so in the end i got to call the hotline for my results...my grades are not fantastic though..
2 A-
2 B+
1 B
My shifu scolded me crazy...he said my results are pretty good...i retorted "not good enough!"..seriously, i'm really disappointed that i cannot pull up my grades...now i have to settle for being the last in the cohort...everybody told me that grades does not matter cause i already have a job..but don't you see the problem here? Everybody's so contended with the present that they're not thinking about long-term plans. I plan to go for my doctorate in 2 yrs, maybe 3 years to save up more for the expenses, and i need my results to apply for it..which uni in the the right mind will allow me to do the course in their campus with the results of mine? I dun wanna stay the way things are right now...i want to go further, to do more...and with the results i have, i'm seriously limited and bonded..However, the thing that made me really down is not really the grades...is my friend.
First, i congratulate her for being able to pull up her grades at the nick of time...she deserves it and i'm really happy for her. But i feel she ought to be more sensitive towards others..Ping, my best friend once told me that i'm so insensitive to her feelings when i called her immediately after getting good grades and insensitively ommitted showing much concern about what grades she got...Ping, if you ever see this, you'll definitely say that someone has taken the revenge on me for ya...1st thing in the morning, i heard from a friend that she had good grades...then in the noon when i was diappointed after checking my results, i left a msg to get her to call me back. Apparently when she called, she's already outside enjoying herself. Fine, i have no prob with that..and i know i should not dampen her mood with my prob...but friend, if you're reading this, dun ever call (even if i asked ya to) when you're not in the mood to hear what i say...no words of consolation from ya (not sure if you'd even heard what i said over the phone) and without 4 lines of exchanges, you hastily say bye and that you need to go...my goodness, that's the worst...perhaps you're waiting for the traffic lights to turn green when you called hence you need to "go", or perhaps a cubicle happened to be vacant while you're queuing up for the toilet hence you need to "go"...whatever it is lah ah friend...this is disappointing...but i'm still and truely happy for ya...(Ping, can you fly back now??**Sobz**)
As i write in my blog, Gerard's at the airport leaving for France for 2 mths...Sorry Gerard, i have wanted to send you off but i really had a bad day today hence i really have no mood to do anything else but to rest at home...Hope you're really take good care of yourself there...
Prayer:"God, thank you so much for the day, for keeping me safe and sound (be in physically or from my bosses)..thank you for guiding me through all events that've happened to me today...Thank you for the grades, though i know that i do not deserve all of them..God, Gerard's on his way to France right now, and Ping's working in the States..though she's only been away for 3 weeks, i'm missing her already..so please keep them in your prayers Lord...bless them in the faraway land and keep them safe. I ask these in the name of your son, Jesus Christ, Amen. In the name of the Father, of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."
About me ;
Jasmne (:
Eighteen
Capricorn
27 Dec'88
Connections ;
