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Thursday, June 02, 2005
010605
My grandpa died this evening....he had all of us by his bedside when he left...i only came to know about his critical condition in the noon when i was doing the testing with one of the SS, and WY came to knock at the door, revealing my cousins standing outside the door. I got such a shock...then they told me that grandpa cannot make it already and wants to see everyone for the last time be4 he leaves. Hence we rushed to the ward, only to see him suffering in pain. He's on the oxygen tube and morphine, but the pain's making him so unbearable that he tried several times, unsuccessfully (not sure if this is good or bad for him) to remove the oxygen mask from his face...
We know you're suffering grandpa, but we just can't let you go...even if we would let you go, we would only consent to saying goodbye to ya when you're in your least painful moments..Never in this state of yours...Never!!But finally we relented. We told the doc to remove all the resusc devices from him...continue to give him morphine and the oxygen mask, and place him in a quiet room to spent his last hours with us...It's really terrible. All of us waited in the room...constantly observing his heartbeat...no one's allowed to cry in the room cause they say this would hold him back from leaving...Finally after 3 hrs of struggle, grandpa left when his heartbeat turns to zero. I held onto my cousin tightly...though i'm not close to grandpa, but this is definitely not the outcome that i wanna see...
It's final.......Grandpa left us...
We're going to hold the wake for a week.....it's gonna be a long week...so i better get some rest be4 i started helping out at the wake...need to apply for leave tomorrow...wonder what my boss's gonna say about this.
Bye Grandpa...Aunt says that you can still hear us, even though you're already gone...dun worry grandpa, your descendents, including me, are good kids and will be good kids to carry on the family line...so please be happy in the other world...i'm really glad that i'm your grand-daughter...really!!!
About me ;
Jasmne (:
Eighteen
Capricorn
27 Dec'88
Connections ;
